Jump to: [Start This 1st Step Today] [This is Not About Perfection] [If Positivity Brings About Anxiety] [Stay Open, Just 1%] [Play the Odds] [Using Google as an Example] [Belief Builds Self-Trust] [Why CPTSD Makes You Feel Like You Can’t Heal] [Let This Simmer] [Try This Small Exercise] [Closing Note]

A Personal Note: please remember that I am on a personal journey as well and that these are tools that I’ve found helpful. Healing Complex PTSD can be a long and complex path but it is possible. Give yourself, and others, space and patience. And adjust whatever you need to what suits you best.

Complex PTSD is hard. It’s draining, but please know that it can get better.

I know there are moments when you feel so alone, the suffering is unbearable and the symptoms are debilitating. You can’t convey the pain to the outside world and it’s so out of the scope of “normal”.

You may feel like there is absolutely no way that this can get better or that you can heal. 

I’ve been there and I want you to know that it can and it does get better. But it does take work. It starts with how you think about your healing and what you think is possible.

Today is about taking a first step to help re-wire your brain out of trauma back into safety and connection. You need to be open to do this.

Here goes: somewhere, you need to start believing that you can heal Complex PTSD. This can be hard for a brain in trauma but it is fundamental.

Let this belief be one of your first habits. Belief is also a habit and it’s one that you can start practicing now. It will set the stage for further steps in healing and re-coding your self-talk.

(Skip to a small exercise at the bottom of the page.)

This first step is foundational. You are securing your belief as an anchor, creating a tool and something to hold onto during difficult times. And you will build around this.

This is not about perfection, feeling okay all the time or right away. You will encounter ups and downs. You don’t need to know how to heal yet and you don’t need to feel it in your gut yet either. This will come. 

Just holding onto the logical thought of it and letting the possibility exist in your mind is enough.

Know that in healing complex PTSD, being open to this thought and starting to open up may bring you anxiety at first (although it may not as well). This can happen in Complex PTSD and that’s ok. Healing is a complex journey but it will be okay <– Hold onto this.

Also remember, that you are retraining your body and brain to accept positivity and good things for yourself. This again can be difficult for a traumatized brain. But also, sometimes just change in itself can entail anxiety. It’s part of the process and you do have it in you to adjust.

If this all still feels too hard, then just start with 1% of yourself. Even 1% of 1%, whatever you can give at this point. There’s a lot of feeling like “I can’t” in CPTSD – find an “I can” wherever and whenever, as much as possible.

Remember this is also a feeling. You can do more than you think.

If you’ve been living with Complex PTSD, you know how intense the symptoms can be. They make you doubt everything: your sanity, your safety and your ability to connect (for now). 

But that 1% of belief can change how you think, how you search and receive answers, and how your brain and body begin to respond. It can start the process of rewiring your brain and changing negative core beliefs you probably hold if you have complex trauma.

You can also think of it in terms of odds and giving yourself an edge. 

If you tell yourself: “There is no way I can heal”, you are stacking the odds against you . You may encounter a magic bullet with this mindset, but the likelihood is lower.

You’ll be reinforcing this hopeless belief and your brain will look for evidence to match.

You’ll be less likely to notice helpful stories, your own progress or positive interactions in your daily life. In fact, you’ll probably pay more attention to what’s not working than what is. This will reinforce your hopelessness in healing from Complex PTSD.

If, on the other hand give yourself just a sliver of hope, the opposite becomes true. Start telling yourself, “hmmm, maybe I can heal…”

You’ll be more likely to search for solutions, even online, try new tools and approaches and internalize what’s helpful.

Bet on Yourself

If you’re using Google or Reddit to research Healing Complex PTSD, you’re not alone. I’ve done it. Many of us have. [insert link]

So what are you Googling? Things like “healing is impossible” and “there’s no hope”? Or something different like:  “what are some treatments for CPTSD”, “signs of healing from trauma”, and “finding hope”. 

Those searches alone will give you different results that can reinforce your initial idea. The way you read these articles and interpret them through will be affected as well. 

And yes with CPTSD, our internal belief system is all “messed up”. That’s why I’m emphasizing a small window of openness. To start rebuilding this internal belief system when healing Complex PTSD.

A small sidenote to offer a little more hope here:
Even if you are googling things such as “there is no hope” this still shows that part of you is still looking. A part of you wants to believe healing Complex PTSD is possible and that you can do it. Listen to this part. Be curious about this part.

Telling yourself change is possible opens you up in general. 

I’ll repeat it, because when you’re in trauma you need helpful repetition. This mindset shift, even if it’s small, can make a difference. Use it as an anchor, return to it as often as you need to, over and over.

Self-Trust is ripped away in Complex PTSD but it is going to be one of the core principles in recovery. 

Saying to yourself: “maybe I can heal”, even it’s just a thought at this point, even doubtfully (if that feels safer) is a first step toward: self-love, self-trust, and building strength. These are pillars in healing Complex PTSD, feeling whole and being more grounded. 

All of these will become foundational elements you will build around in the recovery process. 

These are skills you can start building even now. I know it doesn’t always feel like it but you can do something with this pain. Don’t let it do something to you.

If you’ve been living in survival mode for a long time, Complex PTSD can make it feel like hope, or anything positive is dangerous. 

This is your body still trying to protect you and it is not your fault. 

Complex trauma symptoms are raw, intense and deeply confusing. They’re rooted in survival mechanisms that kept you alive, emotionally and/or physically during long-term duress and trauma.

Your body and brain adapted to protect you and still is, even though the actual danger is long gone. 

With Complex Trauma, you are constantly watching out for threats.

Parts of you are hypervigilant. You are constantly scanning your inner world. This is both because you’ve internalized the “bad” projected at you and a lot of the “hope” or “good” was ripped away or missing. You are at the same time, scanning the outer world for threats and danger. Even innocuous everyday interactions like someone smiling at you can be anxiety-producing.

Your body is still trying to protect you and eventually, you may learn to accept and thank yourself for that.

For now, let these thoughts simmer. Just reading this is a step (and showing that there is some openness there). 

Anything Complex PTSD takes a lot of energy and you’ve already done more than you think just by being here and reading this. Take some time now to thank yourself. It doesn’t have to be perfect, even if it’s just a few seconds to acknowledge a small success and step forward.

And again, this is not about perfection and feeling perfect right away. It’s practice and establishing a new habit. 

There will be different phases of healing. Some easier, some hard. 

Sometimes you’ll feel like you’ve lost progress. You didn’t and this is part of the process in healing Complex PTSD [insert link]. 

But one thing stays true: Healing, your healing, is possible. 

I sometimes like to include links to websites or books that I’ve found helpful. I really recommend The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. It explains a lot what is going on in a traumatized body and brain. This was the first book that I read and helped me feel like I wasn’t so alone.