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I know you’re hurting. 

I know there are moments when you feel so alone, the suffering is unbearable and the symptoms are debilitating. You can’t convey the pain to the outside world, it’s so out of the scope of “normal”.

You feel like there is absolutely no way that this can get better or that you can heal. 

I’ve been there.

And I’m here to tell you: It can get better. It does get better. 

Today is about taking a first step to help re-wire your brain out of trauma back into safety and connection. 

You need to be open to do this. Somewhere, you need to believe that you can heal from Complex PTSD.

Let this belief be one of your first habits. Yes, it’s definitely a habit. You are securing your belief as an anchor, a tool, something to hold onto during difficult times. You will build around this.

This is not about perfection. You will encounter ups and downs. You don’t need to know how to heal yet and you don’t need to feel it in your gut. 

Just holding onto the logical thought of it and letting the possibility exist in your mind is enough.

Being open to this thought and starting to open up may bring you anxiety and it may not. This can happen in Complex PTSD. And that’s ok.

If this all still feels too hard, then just start with 1% of yourself. Even 1% of 1%, whatever you can give at this point. 

If you’ve been living with Complex PTSD, you know how intense the symptoms can be. They make you doubt everything. Your Sanity. Your Safety. Your ability to connect. (For now) 
But that 1% of belief can change how you think, how you search and receive answers, and how your brain and body begin to respond.

You can also think of it in terms of odds and giving yourself an edge. 

If you tell yourself: “There is no way I can heal”, the odds are stacked agains you. You may encounter a magic bullet with this mindset, but the likelihood is lower.

You’ll be reinforcing this hopeless belief and your brain will look for evidence to match.

You’ll be reinforcing that [hopeless] belief and your brain will look for evidence to match

You’ll be less likely to notice helpful stories, your own progress or positive interactions in your daily life. In fact, you’ll probably pay more attention to what’s not working than what is. This will reinforce your hopelessness. 

If, on the other hand give yourself just a sliver of hope, the opposite becomes true. Start telling yourself, “hmmm, maybe I can heal…”

You’ll be more likely to search for solutions, even online, try new tools and approaches and internalize what’s helpful.

You’ll be more likely to search for solutions, even online, try new tools and approaches, notice and internalize what’s helpful.

If you’re using Google or Reddit to research Complex PTSD, you’re not alone. I’ve done it. Many of us have. [insert link]

So what are you Googling? Things like “healing is impossible”, “there’s no hope” or something different like  “what are some treatments CPTSD” and “signs of healing from trauma”. 

Those searches alone will give you different results that can reinforce your initial idea. The way you read these articles and interpret them through will be affected as well. 

And yes with CPTSD, our internal belief system is all “messed up”. That’s why I’m emphasizing a small window of openness. To start rebuilding this internal belief system. 

A small sidenote to offer a little more hope here:
Even if you are googling things such as “there is no hope” this still shows that part of you is still looking. A part of you wants to believe healing is possible and that you can do it. That part matters a lot.

Telling yourself change is possible opens you up in general. 

I’ll repeat it, because when you’re in trauma you need helpful repetition. This mindset shift, even if it’s small, can make a difference. 

Self-Trust is ripped away in Complex PTSD but it is going to be one of the core principles in recovery. 

Saying to yourself: “maybe I can heal”, even it’s just a thought at this point, even doubtfully (if that feels safer) is a first step toward: self-love, self-trust, building strength. Pillars in healing from Complex PTSD. 

All of these will become foundational elements you will build around in the recovery process. 

These are skills you can start building even now. I know it doesn’t always feel like it but you can do something with this pain. Don’t let it do something to you.

If you’ve been living in survival mode for a long time, Complex PTSD can make it feel like hope, or anything positive is dangerous. 

This is your body still trying to protect you and it is not your fault. 

Complex trauma symptoms are raw, intense and deeply confusing. They’re rooted in survival mechanisms that kept you alive, emotionally and/or physically during long-term duress and trauma.

Your body and brain adapted to protect you and still is, even though the actual danger is long gone. 

Parts of you are hypervigilant. You are constantly scanning your inner world. This is both because you’ve internalized the “bad” projected at you and a lot of the “hope” or “good” was ripped away or missing. You are at the same time, scanning the outer world for threats as well. 

Your body is still trying to protect you and eventually, you may learn to accept and thank yourself for that.

For now, let these thoughts simmer. Just reading this is a step (and showing that there is some openness there). 

Anything Complex PTSD takes a lot of energy and you’ve already done more than you think just by being here and reading this. Take some time now to thank yourself. It doesn’t have to be perfect, even if it’s just a few seconds to acknowledge a small success and step forward.

Try speaking to yourself like this: I thank myself for taking some time for healing today. It’s okay if I get nervous, it’s part of the process and things will be ok. I can do this, I am worthy.

If the “I” brings too much resistance, try using your name (in the 3rd person) or “you” as if it were someone speaking to you. “Thank you for taking the time…”  or “Thank you [name]” or both. 

Use whatever power/compassion words resonate toward the end of the sentence. 
If you feel too numb, frightened or nothing resonates, these are your defenses. Pick one that would most closely match. Know that somewhere inside, your brain will process this at some level. I have power, worthiness, myself… download PDF

And again, this is not about perfection and feeling perfect right away. It’s practice and establishing a new habit. 

There will be different phases of healing. Some easier, some hard. 

Sometimes you’ll feel like you’ve lost progress. You didn’t and this is part of the process in healing from Complex PTSD [insert link]. 

But one thing stays true: Healing, your healing, is possible.